Great read! I think there are real vagabonds who feel genuinely fulfilled traveling, but my personal experience is more aligned with your reflection. I used to travel a lot more before I lived in a place I loved as much as I do now. When I lived in the US I was always wanting to escape and get away. Now that I’m settled in Spain, I find I have lost the travel bug for the most part. I love my home and it’s hard for me to leave it! The community piece you mentioned stuck out to me; Spain is so centered on community, I feel connected to life here, and that plays a big part in the shift I experienced.
Thank you for reading! It's great that you've found somewhere that's hard for you to leave - I think managing to create a life I don't want to escape from is my focus for the next few years!
"I’ve neglected building a home because the focus has always been on escaping it." exactly! this hit home (bad joke). but seriously, what a great article about what home means and how travel helps us reflect on that.
I've been thinking about this a lot, especially as I'm in the process of uprooting "home" in lieu of spending a year on the road. In years past when I've dreamed of this kind of trip, it certainly has been through the lens of escapism but as I've become more centered and "at home" in myself, it feels more like an exploration of what I want to integrate into my daily life. What do I want to stay the same? What could do with a bit of reshaping? As long as you are asking yourself the questions, traveling or not, you are making great strides for living and loving well. Great read!
I’m doing the same though my year on the road started last month. It might last a few months, maybe a year but I’m looking at this time to reevaluate a sense of home and what I need to thrive on a daily basis, whilst taking full advantage of working from home.
Sounds like we’re in a similar boat! What a gift it is to be able to have the flexibility to create a life that best serves us :) Best of luck on your travels!
Yes you too. Look forward to reading your journey evolve. I’ve definitely got an internal pull between my nomadic and nesting side. But actually I think they can both co exist
An insightful perspective on what it’s like for us travelers juggling two worlds. For me, it was always a battle between settling down and continuing the adventure—something that only grew immensely once my daughter came along. I found my solution, which is similar to what others are saying: the problem was simply that “home” was the wrong place. Of course, I still love to travel and find comfort in the discomfort, but centering yourself in a place you’re not constantly looking to escape has been the key.
Yes exactly this! I had a big shift last year. I recognised ultimately I needed a strong sustainable base that enriches my health and that I didn’t need to escape from.
I’m on the road now working from home. This feels very much like a transition period but I am appreciating the gradual process of returning ‘home’
I’ve been trying to write about this for so long and have never really nailed it, this was perfect! I think the ironic thing is that when I am traveling I am subconsciously always searching for somewhere that feels like home, where I can settle down, but if I just really put roots down anywhere I could make it feel like home
I guess it's all about the motives for traveling - if you travel to escape something, you will perhaps always escape something else. Bourdain suffered from depression, that's a different category of unhappy. I'd rather look at Sir Attenborough, he still hasn't had enough :)
I like traveling to learn more, to experience new cultures, people, sights... But I've always had the desire just to learn, it's something in my genes (like depression in Bourdain's).
Capitalism definitely takes from the charm of it all, but then again, I think it's on each one of us - the need to instagram everything, fast consumerism, ticking boxes instead of enjoying the sights, buying food in McD and Starbucks even in e.g. France etc etc.
From soul-searching of travelers only 200 hundred years ago, it seems like a soulless activity now, at least to a great number of travelers/tourists.
Heck YES!!! This post offers The most unique and fresh — and honest! — perspective I've seen on travel in a while. You are so right, travel is usually crazy stressful and usually damn expensive too! I've long preferred being at home now. I guess that's part of why I live abroad 😅🤩 Great work 👏
An excellent thought commentary but i think you’re hanging a lot on the ‘travel experience’ - Success, Happiness, Achievement, Contribution, Community….and even what’s Real or Unreal!
Our lives are definitely enriched through travel but it isn’t always a choice between being home bound or being a nomad is it?
Our concept of community is deeply rooted in the extent of our experiences (in my own case my father was a traveler and dragged us along through his working life and therefore community to me has always been wherever I’ve found myself)
The desire to escape our every day holds true no matter how deeply satisfying our ‘home’ conditions are - for some it’s a flight of fantasy and for others it is a very real flight to other destinations😊
As long as we don’t have to choose between being rooted to our surroundings or to not have anyplace to hold onto and call home, my sense is that travel in itself only presents experiences and our takeaways from it form the basis of good or bad travel in hindsight!
I loved reading this, I definitely feel like this resonates with a lot of people and I agree that a lot of people travel to fulfil a “fantasy” or to “escape”. However, there are people in this world (such as third-culture kids, of which I am one) who don’t have or never had a home base. There is truly not a single place in this world I could call home, for the simple fact that I moved a lot growing up, and nowhere resonated. When people ask me where I’m from, I struggle to find an answer.
Travel has become my “home”. Though it comes with stress and difficulties, i find it more comforting than anything else. I’ve struggled to make friends anywhere I’m still, yet on the road it happens naturally, and I now have a community of friends all over the world! I don’t put pressure on travel to be amazing, because it’s simply just the way I live my life rather than a hobby I engage in every now and then. I recently bought a sailboat with my three favorite people: together we plan to live on it and travel the world. This will be our home, somewhere familiar in the ever changing.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, they resonate a lot and are making me reflect on my relationship with travel as well. In my early 20s I LOVED to travel. My first solo trip to Myanmar in 2018 was honestly life changing. Afterwards I felt so much more self-dependent and trusting that I could handle anything in life. I continued to travel with (boy)friends and although my trips never got so impactful again, I enjoyed them - they were nice. Now, after years without intercontinental travel due to Covid and then burnout, I’m on my own cycling around Taiwan and if I’m honest: it’s not what I hoped it’d be. I’ve been feeling anxious and unsafe, even though there’s no apparent reason for it. I’ve been feeling home sick and exhausted, and after two out of three weeks I’m ready to go home. I’ve had many nights where I’ve thought: what the hell am I doing here. I’m trying to figure out ways to make the trip more enjoyable for myself: a slower pace, taking more rest days, eating expensive but comforting western foods, searching for places with other travellers (there are very few here), etc. But I think this trip has changed my perspective on travel for good. All I long for right now is time of at home to recharge from this vacation 😅
This is really interesting, I remember my first backpacking trip and the impact it had on me back then, but it’s a feeling I don’t know if I’ll be able to recreate now due to different responsibilities. It’s a shame to hear it’s not what you expected, but hopefully comforting to know it’s more common than you probably think! We only see people’s highlight reels so feel like we should be having the time of our lives!
This is SUCH a fantastic read, thank you for writing it and for being so honest! I am someone who finds travel anxiety-inducing and would almost always rather be at home - but I also have a home that my partner and I have invested a lot of love and time into, in a village with a vibrant community, and a job that I absolutely adore. I don’t want to escape from it, because it’s my safe space and the source of much of my creative inspiration. I find hot weather very difficult to contend with too, so as a winter lover, the UK climate is very suited to me! If those things were different, would I prioritise travel more? Maybe? You’ve given me so much to ponder, thank you ❤️
Beautiful read! I resonate with this. It's why I question the saying "going back to reality" after a trip. Making travel your life when it's realistically just 20-30% of life (or less) is unrealistic and no way to live. I still love to travel but I've been more meaningful with my day-to-day now and exploring local tourism too. Interestingly enough, my wanderlust has gone down a little bit now that I've made more of an effort to color my life as is.
this was an incredible read and i deeply resonate with it. i idolized travel when i was in college full time and working a full time job, so i never had the time or money to travel. but after college, i traveled for about a year and a half straight. my longest time away from home consecutively was ~89 days in europe. i traveled with the intention of visiting different beaches & greenery because we have no clear water beaches in houston and our greenery is limited. i also wanted to experience europe’s different lifestyles there because certain places are much more walkable or have more public transportation options. houston is extremely car based and i hate that so much. so i wanted to see how nice it can be to just walk or bus or take a subway around different cities. and it did confirm to me that i would love to live near a beautiful beach because swimming is my favorite form of exercise, and i would love to live in a walkable city or at least one with a safe bus or subway options. also, what traveling for a year and half showed me really aligns with what it showed you; traveling is not all it’s cracked up to be, it’s quite stressful at times, and there is a case for prioritizing making my home life so fulfilling that i can then choose to travel with more intention and not because of a need to escape from my life at home. since i realized that, i’ve started joining local clubs in houston, building better habits to enjoy each day to the fullest, moved back to my favorite part of the city, and have really started to love my home life here. i really like that you pointed out how people might feel the need to escape home in part because of capitalism. i feel the same. i think capitalism has put so many people into survival mode while they’re home so they associate leaving home with leaving survival mode, aka they can relax. but there is a case, as you said, for intentionally curating your life to have more work/life balance so you can have an enjoyable home life that you don’t feel a need to escape from.
Hi Alyse, thanks for reading and sharing this comment. I went to the US for the first time last year and now I completely understand the appeal of a walkable city! Glad to hear that you’ve created a home life that you love 💖
This is one of the best takes I’ve seen on travel beautifully put into words & I want to give a huge thank you for sharing this with us all (especially in your first substack post!)
Travel is definitely an experience that can give so much to you, but at the same time, can be a source of stress or escapism from the other parts of your life. I can see fulfillment with travel transforming over time as you grow as a person too. If you grew up never being able to travel, it can be an escape if you aren’t satisfied with your life and want to seek happiness elsewhere. (speaking from personal experience).
But I’ve noticed that as I curate my home, especially after moving out from my mom’s, my safe space has transformed into my home base. And travel is a way to expand my mind & seek new experiences. I also try to integrate local travel or gems in everyday, mundane (yet magical) life. I guess it’s a bit of romanticizing if anything.
Anyway, all this to say - what a beautiful piece I will probably come back to again & again. 💖
Hi Eril, thanks so much for your kind words 💖! That’s very true - I grew up not being able to travel and I do think that’s why I have such an unhealthy relationship with it. It sounds like you have a good balanced approach and love to hear you’re romanticising everyday life. Doing that myself definitely helped my winter blues this year!
This topic has been super top of mind for me lately! Also travel used to be something you would only do to learn something new, seek knowledge or make a pilgrimage but now it’s this jet-setting to get a cocktail norm which is a little weird when you think about it. So many people also travel in a way that doesn’t differ dramatically from their leisure time available to them back home or at least on a staycation (drink, spa, lay out) that makes me confused why they spend the time and money to do it somewhere else so far away.
Yes 100%! I actually wrote about this in my most recent piece and how travel seems to have become less about getting to know a new culture and just about eating, drinking and shopping (the same things that could be done at home as you said)
As someone who realized a few years ago that she hates traveling, I feel very seen in your piece. My travel anxiety is so strong that I barely enjoy the places I'm visiting, and have a mental countdown of when I get to sleep in my own bed again. My resolution for 2025 is steading: investing in my home base, community and friendships. Thank you for sharing this!!
Great read! I think there are real vagabonds who feel genuinely fulfilled traveling, but my personal experience is more aligned with your reflection. I used to travel a lot more before I lived in a place I loved as much as I do now. When I lived in the US I was always wanting to escape and get away. Now that I’m settled in Spain, I find I have lost the travel bug for the most part. I love my home and it’s hard for me to leave it! The community piece you mentioned stuck out to me; Spain is so centered on community, I feel connected to life here, and that plays a big part in the shift I experienced.
Thank you for reading! It's great that you've found somewhere that's hard for you to leave - I think managing to create a life I don't want to escape from is my focus for the next few years!
"I’ve neglected building a home because the focus has always been on escaping it." exactly! this hit home (bad joke). but seriously, what a great article about what home means and how travel helps us reflect on that.
I've been thinking about this a lot, especially as I'm in the process of uprooting "home" in lieu of spending a year on the road. In years past when I've dreamed of this kind of trip, it certainly has been through the lens of escapism but as I've become more centered and "at home" in myself, it feels more like an exploration of what I want to integrate into my daily life. What do I want to stay the same? What could do with a bit of reshaping? As long as you are asking yourself the questions, traveling or not, you are making great strides for living and loving well. Great read!
Love that perspective of how travel changes when you're more at home in yourself! Thanks for reading too :)
I’m doing the same though my year on the road started last month. It might last a few months, maybe a year but I’m looking at this time to reevaluate a sense of home and what I need to thrive on a daily basis, whilst taking full advantage of working from home.
Sounds like we’re in a similar boat! What a gift it is to be able to have the flexibility to create a life that best serves us :) Best of luck on your travels!
Yes you too. Look forward to reading your journey evolve. I’ve definitely got an internal pull between my nomadic and nesting side. But actually I think they can both co exist
An insightful perspective on what it’s like for us travelers juggling two worlds. For me, it was always a battle between settling down and continuing the adventure—something that only grew immensely once my daughter came along. I found my solution, which is similar to what others are saying: the problem was simply that “home” was the wrong place. Of course, I still love to travel and find comfort in the discomfort, but centering yourself in a place you’re not constantly looking to escape has been the key.
Yes exactly this! I had a big shift last year. I recognised ultimately I needed a strong sustainable base that enriches my health and that I didn’t need to escape from.
I’m on the road now working from home. This feels very much like a transition period but I am appreciating the gradual process of returning ‘home’
I’ve been trying to write about this for so long and have never really nailed it, this was perfect! I think the ironic thing is that when I am traveling I am subconsciously always searching for somewhere that feels like home, where I can settle down, but if I just really put roots down anywhere I could make it feel like home
I guess it's all about the motives for traveling - if you travel to escape something, you will perhaps always escape something else. Bourdain suffered from depression, that's a different category of unhappy. I'd rather look at Sir Attenborough, he still hasn't had enough :)
I like traveling to learn more, to experience new cultures, people, sights... But I've always had the desire just to learn, it's something in my genes (like depression in Bourdain's).
Capitalism definitely takes from the charm of it all, but then again, I think it's on each one of us - the need to instagram everything, fast consumerism, ticking boxes instead of enjoying the sights, buying food in McD and Starbucks even in e.g. France etc etc.
From soul-searching of travelers only 200 hundred years ago, it seems like a soulless activity now, at least to a great number of travelers/tourists.
Heck YES!!! This post offers The most unique and fresh — and honest! — perspective I've seen on travel in a while. You are so right, travel is usually crazy stressful and usually damn expensive too! I've long preferred being at home now. I guess that's part of why I live abroad 😅🤩 Great work 👏
Thank you so much!
An excellent thought commentary but i think you’re hanging a lot on the ‘travel experience’ - Success, Happiness, Achievement, Contribution, Community….and even what’s Real or Unreal!
Our lives are definitely enriched through travel but it isn’t always a choice between being home bound or being a nomad is it?
Our concept of community is deeply rooted in the extent of our experiences (in my own case my father was a traveler and dragged us along through his working life and therefore community to me has always been wherever I’ve found myself)
The desire to escape our every day holds true no matter how deeply satisfying our ‘home’ conditions are - for some it’s a flight of fantasy and for others it is a very real flight to other destinations😊
As long as we don’t have to choose between being rooted to our surroundings or to not have anyplace to hold onto and call home, my sense is that travel in itself only presents experiences and our takeaways from it form the basis of good or bad travel in hindsight!
I loved reading this, I definitely feel like this resonates with a lot of people and I agree that a lot of people travel to fulfil a “fantasy” or to “escape”. However, there are people in this world (such as third-culture kids, of which I am one) who don’t have or never had a home base. There is truly not a single place in this world I could call home, for the simple fact that I moved a lot growing up, and nowhere resonated. When people ask me where I’m from, I struggle to find an answer.
Travel has become my “home”. Though it comes with stress and difficulties, i find it more comforting than anything else. I’ve struggled to make friends anywhere I’m still, yet on the road it happens naturally, and I now have a community of friends all over the world! I don’t put pressure on travel to be amazing, because it’s simply just the way I live my life rather than a hobby I engage in every now and then. I recently bought a sailboat with my three favorite people: together we plan to live on it and travel the world. This will be our home, somewhere familiar in the ever changing.
That makes sense, travel is your life/not a form of escapism! The sailboat adventure sounds incredible!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, they resonate a lot and are making me reflect on my relationship with travel as well. In my early 20s I LOVED to travel. My first solo trip to Myanmar in 2018 was honestly life changing. Afterwards I felt so much more self-dependent and trusting that I could handle anything in life. I continued to travel with (boy)friends and although my trips never got so impactful again, I enjoyed them - they were nice. Now, after years without intercontinental travel due to Covid and then burnout, I’m on my own cycling around Taiwan and if I’m honest: it’s not what I hoped it’d be. I’ve been feeling anxious and unsafe, even though there’s no apparent reason for it. I’ve been feeling home sick and exhausted, and after two out of three weeks I’m ready to go home. I’ve had many nights where I’ve thought: what the hell am I doing here. I’m trying to figure out ways to make the trip more enjoyable for myself: a slower pace, taking more rest days, eating expensive but comforting western foods, searching for places with other travellers (there are very few here), etc. But I think this trip has changed my perspective on travel for good. All I long for right now is time of at home to recharge from this vacation 😅
This is really interesting, I remember my first backpacking trip and the impact it had on me back then, but it’s a feeling I don’t know if I’ll be able to recreate now due to different responsibilities. It’s a shame to hear it’s not what you expected, but hopefully comforting to know it’s more common than you probably think! We only see people’s highlight reels so feel like we should be having the time of our lives!
This is SUCH a fantastic read, thank you for writing it and for being so honest! I am someone who finds travel anxiety-inducing and would almost always rather be at home - but I also have a home that my partner and I have invested a lot of love and time into, in a village with a vibrant community, and a job that I absolutely adore. I don’t want to escape from it, because it’s my safe space and the source of much of my creative inspiration. I find hot weather very difficult to contend with too, so as a winter lover, the UK climate is very suited to me! If those things were different, would I prioritise travel more? Maybe? You’ve given me so much to ponder, thank you ❤️
Your life is my goals!
Beautiful read! I resonate with this. It's why I question the saying "going back to reality" after a trip. Making travel your life when it's realistically just 20-30% of life (or less) is unrealistic and no way to live. I still love to travel but I've been more meaningful with my day-to-day now and exploring local tourism too. Interestingly enough, my wanderlust has gone down a little bit now that I've made more of an effort to color my life as is.
I love that phrasing ‘more of an effort to colour my life.’ I definitely should try more local tourism too. Thanks for reading 💖
this was an incredible read and i deeply resonate with it. i idolized travel when i was in college full time and working a full time job, so i never had the time or money to travel. but after college, i traveled for about a year and a half straight. my longest time away from home consecutively was ~89 days in europe. i traveled with the intention of visiting different beaches & greenery because we have no clear water beaches in houston and our greenery is limited. i also wanted to experience europe’s different lifestyles there because certain places are much more walkable or have more public transportation options. houston is extremely car based and i hate that so much. so i wanted to see how nice it can be to just walk or bus or take a subway around different cities. and it did confirm to me that i would love to live near a beautiful beach because swimming is my favorite form of exercise, and i would love to live in a walkable city or at least one with a safe bus or subway options. also, what traveling for a year and half showed me really aligns with what it showed you; traveling is not all it’s cracked up to be, it’s quite stressful at times, and there is a case for prioritizing making my home life so fulfilling that i can then choose to travel with more intention and not because of a need to escape from my life at home. since i realized that, i’ve started joining local clubs in houston, building better habits to enjoy each day to the fullest, moved back to my favorite part of the city, and have really started to love my home life here. i really like that you pointed out how people might feel the need to escape home in part because of capitalism. i feel the same. i think capitalism has put so many people into survival mode while they’re home so they associate leaving home with leaving survival mode, aka they can relax. but there is a case, as you said, for intentionally curating your life to have more work/life balance so you can have an enjoyable home life that you don’t feel a need to escape from.
Hi Alyse, thanks for reading and sharing this comment. I went to the US for the first time last year and now I completely understand the appeal of a walkable city! Glad to hear that you’ve created a home life that you love 💖
This is one of the best takes I’ve seen on travel beautifully put into words & I want to give a huge thank you for sharing this with us all (especially in your first substack post!)
Travel is definitely an experience that can give so much to you, but at the same time, can be a source of stress or escapism from the other parts of your life. I can see fulfillment with travel transforming over time as you grow as a person too. If you grew up never being able to travel, it can be an escape if you aren’t satisfied with your life and want to seek happiness elsewhere. (speaking from personal experience).
But I’ve noticed that as I curate my home, especially after moving out from my mom’s, my safe space has transformed into my home base. And travel is a way to expand my mind & seek new experiences. I also try to integrate local travel or gems in everyday, mundane (yet magical) life. I guess it’s a bit of romanticizing if anything.
Anyway, all this to say - what a beautiful piece I will probably come back to again & again. 💖
Hi Eril, thanks so much for your kind words 💖! That’s very true - I grew up not being able to travel and I do think that’s why I have such an unhealthy relationship with it. It sounds like you have a good balanced approach and love to hear you’re romanticising everyday life. Doing that myself definitely helped my winter blues this year!
This topic has been super top of mind for me lately! Also travel used to be something you would only do to learn something new, seek knowledge or make a pilgrimage but now it’s this jet-setting to get a cocktail norm which is a little weird when you think about it. So many people also travel in a way that doesn’t differ dramatically from their leisure time available to them back home or at least on a staycation (drink, spa, lay out) that makes me confused why they spend the time and money to do it somewhere else so far away.
Yes 100%! I actually wrote about this in my most recent piece and how travel seems to have become less about getting to know a new culture and just about eating, drinking and shopping (the same things that could be done at home as you said)
As someone who realized a few years ago that she hates traveling, I feel very seen in your piece. My travel anxiety is so strong that I barely enjoy the places I'm visiting, and have a mental countdown of when I get to sleep in my own bed again. My resolution for 2025 is steading: investing in my home base, community and friendships. Thank you for sharing this!!